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Emotional Intelligence

Daniel Goleman in his book “Emotional Intelligence – The Revolutionary Theory that Redefines Being Intelligent” in part four, chapter twelve...

Daniel Goleman in his book “Emotional Intelligence – The Revolutionary Theory that Redefines Being Intelligent” in part four, chapter twelve he dedicates only to families. Interesting topics, current and pertinent to this subject. In the same he talks about parents who are more imposing and those who are more permissive, these two extremes.

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence
Emotional Intelligence

In light of this reading and this chapter, I began to observe some situations and how much difficulty some children have in dealing with frustrations, and how they often show hesitation in the face of new challenges and wait for an adult to perform simple tasks that they are able to do for " fear of making mistakes”. It's heartbreaking to see these kids charging themselves to that point, so small and full of limiting beliefs. Situations that often reflect until adulthood can cause low self-esteem and a feeling of failure.

The family, however it is constituted, is our first social contact. Often these beliefs start at home, within our own homes. Moments that should be family fun end up limiting these children. There are excessive demands or lack of them, negative experiences and often words spoken by people we love and admire.

Knowing how to deal with daily adversities is very important to transform limiting beliefs into learning, what we now call resignification, and how to teach little ones from an early age to deal with and attribute new meanings to these situations? Daniel Goleman highlights in his book five skills necessary to develop emotional intelligence, namely:

    Know your own emotions;

    Dealing with emotions;

    Motivate yourself;

    Recognize emotions in others;

    Dealing with relationships.

According to the author, knowing one's emotions is what is beyond self-knowledge, it is trying to identify when an emotion or feeling provokes a reaction; dealing with emotions is knowing how to weigh them, always valuing your physical and mental well-being; to motivate yourself is to put emotions in control of any activity you propose to exercise with self-control, moderating anticipated satisfaction and controlling impulsiveness; recognizing the emotions in others is related to their ability to put themselves in someone's shoes, that is, mutual empathy, which makes the person sensitive to “hear” people's emotions; dealing with relationships is your ability to lead and relate, this being the intrapersonal competence.

When we encourage the five skills mentioned above, can you imagine what society would be like? We would be people capable of self-control in situations of anger, fear, anxiety and frustration; in the face of obstacles, we would create new strategies, always thinking positively and seeking alternatives that would favor our own well-being and that of all the people involved; we would be responsible for our attitudes, being humble in recognizing our duties towards the society in which we are inserted.

In this way, most likely our rights as citizens would not need to be remembered. We would respect differences more and we would not have so many imposed social standards.


Available in: . Accessed 23 Apr 18. Guleman, D. Emotional Intelligence – The revolutionary theory that redefines what it is to be intelligent. Publisher: Objective; 1996. 

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