I would not say that saying "yes" to everything is a learned behavior, because it depends on the life history of the individual an...
I would not say that saying "yes" to everything is a learned behavior, because it depends on the life history of the individual and also the environment in which he is inserted, but I believe that it is something that over the years is reinforced (in different ways) an ideal of himself by the child and in most cases taken into adulthood.
5 Tips and Advantages of Saying "NO"
The behavior of refusing a request or even imposing limits on relationships is a very complicated task. This happens because these people cannot bear to frustrate others, based on this intolerance to the suffering of the Other, the guilt in which you will feel for not having reached the expectation of the other person, that is, in your unconscious, will not be acting according to your ideal (what we call "idealized self") created of yourself, being of a perfect person, to always be the "Good guys/ good ones" of history, the helpful and the always available, which in reality hides a complex of inferiority and a low self-esteem.
People who do not impose themselves are vulnerable to develop unhealthy relationships, which most often results in abusive relationships and I am not saying only in a loving sphere, as in all environments, in which the person is inserted. Therefore, becoming vulnerable people, are people who put themselves at risk most of the time, such as: drug use, alcohol, places that normally would not and are not suitable and etc.
The importance of saying is not for respect for yourself, your wills and limits. Besides, people who can't say no, they're people who are very deprived, because by saying yes, against their will, they're saying no to themselves.
Remember, people only do to us what we allow, so it's no use doing what they don't want to do and complain, it's not the Other's responsibility, but yours for not imposing limits, that is, if we don't allow it, they don't. The "no" brings with him: authenticity, self-esteem, emotional balance, self-esteem and feeling of well-being.
What characterizes a person who never says no to others?
– Always very helpful, available, dependent, insecure, needy and not questioning any situation. Being very understanding people, even in situations that there is no reason to understand.
They are those people seen as "companions/partners", being described as: "for that give and come". In addition to being passive people, without opinion and who agree with everything that others say, let's say those people seen as: "maria goes with others", that is, people who do not take and have initiative.
How do you say no? How do you learn to say no?
Saying no everyone knows, even people who don't say "no" say, the only difference is that these people only prioritize "no" for themselves, because the priority of pleasing someone is tied to the Other.
People only learn to say a non-authentic when they prioritize and respect each other.
Tips for being able to say the much-feared "no":
1- when receiving an inappropriate invitation, know how to position yourself
2- Prioritize yourself in all situations. Ask yourself if the situation is being good for you too.
3- If you can't say "no" directly, ask for time to think.
4- Remember, if the person does not know how to hear no, do not reinforce the spoiled side of it, because you will not be helping the Other, besides the problem and the need for "yes" not be yours.
5- Negotiate. In many situations we can relax what is best for both sides, break the false belief that to be good, someone has to sacrifice themselves.
The advantages of saying no are:
1- You don't have to do things out of obligation
2- You stop overloading yourself concretely and emotionally.
3- Situations become less distressing.
4- You become a more coherent person.
5- You will not deal with the bad consequences alone.
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